Don’t Feminize Your Boys.

” Should we follow our child’s lead in the way they want to dress/act? Or should we instill in them the “classic” gender roles that society has deemed appropriate? “

My personal thoughts are that if we are not “controlled” (within reasonable limit) it could easily be that we go too far. We should guide our children and keep them within certain frames to prevent confusion and other issues down the road. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t accept that, in the future, should they want to take a different road.

I was reading a celebrity blog which lead me to an article where the quoted question in this post was asked. It sparked my thoughts and I decided to write it down.

We need to discuss things, even simple things such as the differences between boys and girls. Blue and pink. Car and doll.

I know there are mothers who would disagree with me, mothers who seem anti gender roles. I don’t think we have the right to let our own anger with society or gender roles affect our children. I actually feel it’s important to be clear with what is considered feminine and what is considered masculine.

You know, the world… is a certain way. I feel it is wrong to “allow” children things which possibly could make them target of bullying or other misjoy. No where close do I suggest we shouldn’t be ourselves… but children don’t know that much about the world so it is wrong of us parents not to guide them.

Don’t feminize your boys. A grown man need to feel he is masculine, unless he is homosexual… perhaps (? I know nothing of this).  It’s tough being in this world as it is, let’s not add gender confusion to the list.

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4 thoughts on “Don’t Feminize Your Boys.

  1. A part of our public image is the role of male or female we must play. For most people that role is determined by their physical gender. We are all really bisexual in nature. When we begin our lives as fetuses, we have undifferentiated sex organs that only gradually, under the influence of hormones, become male or female. Likewise, when we begin our social lives as infants, we are neither male nor female in the social sense. Almost immediately — as soon as those pink or blue booties go on — we come under the influence of society, which gradually molds us into men and women.

    In all societies, the expectations placed on men and women differ, usually based on our different roles in reproduction, but often involving many details that are purely traditional. In our society today, we still have many remnants of these traditional expectations. Women are still expected to be more nurturant and less aggressive; men are still expected to be strong and to ignore the emotional side of life. These expectations mean that we have developed only half of our potential.

    The anima is the female aspect present in the collective unconscious of men, and the animus is the male aspect present in the collective unconscious of women. Together, they are refered to as syzygy. The anima may be personified as a young girl, very spontaneous and intuitive, or as a witch, or as the earth mother. It is likely to be associated with deep emotionality and the force of life itself. The animus may be personified as a wise old man, a sorcerer, or often a number of males, and tends to be logical, often rationalistic, even argumentative.

    The anima or animus is the archetype through which you communicate with the collective unconscious generally, and it is important to get into touch with it. It is also the archetype that is responsible for much of our love life. We are, as an ancient Greek myth suggests, always looking for our other half, the half that the Gods took from us, in members of the opposite sex. When we fall in love at first sight, then we have found someone that “fills” our anima or animus archetype particularly well!

    • That is interesting, thanks you for sharing. Although there are parts I can’t verify without research, what I do know I agree with. Though I feel that girls should be girls and boys should be boys… both genders possess qualities witch the other should adapt to, to some extent.

  2. As our parents, we have quite a balancing act to perform, constantly teetering between encouragement and protection in an effort to ultimately foster independence. I agree that allowing our children to be themselves doesn’t mean giving them free reign over all choices. Children look to use for guidance even while exercising choices. In the same way we warn a child not to touch a hot burner or show them how to always be polite, we have a certain obligation to direct them when it comes to appropriate gender behavior, clothing and communication. There will come a day when we won’t (and shouldn’t) be there to help make those choices, and that’s when the foundation we lay for them early on will matter most — and we’ll know the choice they make as adults is educated, fostered and truly their own.

  3. I think it’s funny and disingenuous that you say, “A grown man need to feel he is masculine, unless he is homosexual.” I know a lot of effeminate straight men and quite a few macho gay men. Even funnier is that it kind of depends on the environment.

    Back in my home state of Texas, my friends that I was effeminate. Here in San Diego, my friends thing I’m macho. I’m me. I happen to be gay but I also like sports, fast cars, motorcycles, and so many other things that some believe belong only to straight men.

    In the 18½ years that I’ve been “out,” I’ve come to the firm belief that sexuality, and the expression of that sexuality, is very fluid. That probably explains why I keep reading in so many places that women love it when their man expresses that feminine side — crying, romance, etc.

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